A Jonah in Time

 

 

These last few weeks I have had one of my, what I have affectionately termed, "Jonah moments."  If you recall, Jonah was called on by God to evangelize.  Jonah felt that his own plan was better, so he fled on a boat.  While on this boat, storms came up and the crew figured it was Jonah's fault, so they tossed him overboard and Jonah was consumed by the whale.  And before you know it, Jonah was spit out on the shore.  From there Jonah trusted God and evangelized as he was asked by God.

A Jonah Moment comes in three particular phases.  Phase one, a person is asked to do something by another person in charge, a spouse, parent, whoever.  If said person does not do what it asked of them, it is often because they think their personal plan is better and deny the request or move in their own direction, phase two.  The final phase is when said person realizes that their plan or choice was not the correct choice and they go back to what was originally asked of them and complete the task.  If you need an example of the three phases in action, just ask a teenager, for if they are like my teenager, they have mastered this concept.

I find that every now and then, just like a teenager, I go through these phases, and just so happen to be going through a Jonah moment.  I have been given a task with a plan of attack, and I am pretty sure my way is better.  I am positive I do not want to do the plan as I probably should, because I am scared of the ramifications that might come.  I have let my fears overcome the desired outcome.  I believe that when we fear, we have taken our eyes off the prize, God's plan, and that until we give it to Him, we are going to be in the belly of the whale.

That being said, I have also shared my concerns with others, prayed about it, and feel that maybe I am just about to be spit up on the shore, so to speak, hopefully soon.  These feelings have come after thought and prayer, asking God to guide me, give me the wisdom and understanding to know His path for me.  I have to trust in Him and allow Him to use me as He wants me, whether it is my plan or not. 

The best thing one can do to avoid those Jonah moments is to give it all to God, and completely trust in His plans.  However, when we fail, we need to realize our errors and get back on track, so we can spend as little time in the whale as possible.

Are our prayers working?

 

Anyone that has followed my blog(principalsonlineoffice.blogspot.com) knows that I struggle with my prayer life.  I struggle to remember to pray, daily, and when I do pray, I wonder if I am saying the right things or am I doing it the right way.  I have overcome most of these hurdles, not completely, but I am much better than I ever was before.

 

In an effort to remember to pray, daily, I got an app for that.  I know, this is kind of sad that I have to have an application to pray daily, but before the app I would forget to pray completely.  Now, every time I open my phone, there is the app on the first page, and while it only gives me a morning prayer and an afternoon prayer, I see the image and now I do not have to use the app to pray, I use it to remind me to pray.  I might not open the app and read what it suggests, but now I will just say a few words in my head, whether it be to ask for God’s guidance, give Him praise and thanksgiving, or to ask God to protect a loved one or friend.

 

As for worrying what to say, I had a friend give me some great advice, about what to say when one prays to God:  J.O.Y.  Jesus, Others, You.  I have stuck pretty much to that plan every time I pray.  I thank God for the wonderful blessings in my life.  I pray for those that have asked me to pray for them by name, then I ask God for his guidance and understanding in whatever my struggles are in my life. 

 

As far as praying the “right way” I have come to the conclusion that there is no correct way to pray.  If I am wrong on this, boy am I in trouble.  However, I have learned that God is ready to listen to anyone willing to engage in conversation with Him.  He is there ready and waiting on us to start the conversation, so I believe that He does not have a particular “right way” to pray.

 

Now I have an entirely different struggle.  At Mass we always have prayers and petitions starting with the Church, the Pope, the Priest, then it usually turns to peaceful end to wars, and for our world leaders to find said solution.  Finally they end in a more personal or community prayers.  However, the other day, I must have been in a bad mood, for I wondered why we continue to pray for the same thing over, and does God even listen?  Because if He did, then why are we not praying for something different every week?

 

After long contemplation, I had two epiphanies when it comes to prayers and petitions.  First is something that Fr. Hunter tweeted a couple of weeks ago that reminded me that God has three answers to prayers, “Yes,” “No,” or “I have another plan.”  The second epiphany I was reminded that the purpose of prayer is to change something.  Change the sick to healthy, the wicked to kind, whenever we pray, we are actually praying for some kind of change. 

 

Now, for the biggest revelation of all, I have come to conclude that regardless of who or what you are praying for, whatever change you wish to see from your prayer, the biggest change one gets from prayer is hopefully from within.  The most important thing prayer can change is your heart.  When one experiences change from within, it can’t help but change their actions and the way they treat others.  If we pray for an end to war and for the beginning of peace, it will not and cannot happen if we are not allowing our prayers to change us from within.

 

Think, if we all allowed prayer to change us from within, then it changes our actions towards others.  Hopefully, that change for the better is contagious towards the family and friends that we surround ourselves.  Then they start to spread the change to family and friends they are around, and next thing you know, we could have an epidemic, of the good kind.  If we can allow God to change our hearts, and spread that to everyone we know, then before you know it, we might just have the peaceful place we always pray for at Mass.

 

 

 

Would you have a job?

In the past, I have written about my joy of funny signs one might see while driving down the road.  Church signs usually have some play on words or times of important events on their signs, and sometimes they even post points to ponder.  Today, I want to write about the one I saw on the way to church, this past weekend, for it definitely made me think about my prayer life.  The quote was, “If praying was your job, would you be employed?”  Whoa!!!! 

As if I needed another sign(no pun intended) that maybe, just maybe, God is trying to encourage me to increase my prayer life, the Mass I went to this weekend, the priest did his homily on Eucharist Adoration.  He spent his homily sharing with the congregation the things people might see in Adoration, such as the candles, the monstrance, etc.  The priest also talked a little bit about his experience with Adoration.  Then at the end of his homily, he actually exposed the Blessed Sacrament, and we had the opportunity to be in the presence of God, and just pray. 

Then to finish me off, what was on our sign, this morning, when I pulled into work, the Adoration schedule for last Sunday.  Okay God, I get it!!!  I need to be more prayerful in my life.  The rote prayers I am doing are not enough, anymore.  I see the dangers in our world of natural disasters, the constant fighting between our political parties, the fear of world leaders on the brink of war, and I think to myself, what is the point?  It is not working.  My prayers have not changed a thing in this world, so why even bother?

I won’t even go into the selfishness of those thoughts and how I could even think that my prayer for peace is actually going to make peace in this world, or how I can possibly pray for a Hurricane not to hit land, and expect that it actually not his land.  However, what I can attest to is the power of prayer to change my heart. 

I am a firm believer that the power of prayer can change anyone’s life for the better, because it changes said persons heart from within.  Spending time with our Lord will change anyone, if we are willing to start the conversation, listen to what He tells us, and then actually allow our own hearts to change.  We must let the power of prayer change our heart. 

Prayer is a powerful thing that can lead us to places we could never have dreamed of.  Today, make a promise to God and to yourself, that you will increase your prayer life in some way.  Are you praying at family meals?  If not, start.  Are you praying as a family at bedtime?  If not, start.  Are you spending time in the real presence of Christ, at Eucharistic Adoration?  If not, start. 

In order to increase your prayer life, I might suggest that you start by making it a part of your daily schedule by adding it to your calendar.  Set it up to give you a reminder on your phone or computer and when that reminder pops up, stop what you are doing and spend time in prayer.  Mark your calendar to spend time in Adoration.  If the SPX times do not fit your schedule, find other churches that might.  Some churches will have perpetual Adoration or almost perpetual Adoration, find a schedule that fits around yours.   Do something that will take you out of the daily routine of your life, and add time for God.  Let Him change your heart and you might be surprised how the change in your heart, might be an example for someone else. 

Are you walking or sinking?

This weekend, the gospel was from the book of Matthew.  Jesus sent his disciples, by boat, to the other side of the sea, while He dismissed the crowds.  He then went up the mountain to pray, by himself.  Upon his return to the disciples, the boat was in the midst of a bad storm.  Jesus was walking on the water, to get to the boat, when Peter saw him.  Not sure it was Jesus, Peter asked, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  You all know the rest, Peter started to walk on the water, realized that he was walking on the water, got scared, fell in the water, and Jesus reached out and saved Peter. 

Peter started his path to Jesus, by walking on the water.  The further he got away from the boat, the more scared he got, and looking down at the water he started sinking.  Peter lost his faith when he took his eyes off of Jesus.  Have you ever had doubts about a decision you are making?  Have you ever been like Peter and started to sink?

I was talking with a friend of mine, recently, who is sending off his son to college.  He will be a freshman at Indiana University.  As you can imagine, our discussion led to the media influenced rhetoric we hear all over the news about safe spaces and groups segregating other groups because they are offended by who they are, what they look like, or what they believe.  Our discussion led to the question, “Are you afraid to send your children to college the way things are going on campuses?”  I was very surprised by my friend’s response.  He basically said that he has faith that he and his wife raised his son to make good judgements and good decisions.  And, I believe, knowing his son, they are absolutely correct and should have no fears.  Their son is a fine young man, and sort of an old soul, who I believe will not to get caught up in anything that will steer him away from his goals and vision.

I now have a middle school child.  Her first day of middle school was Wednesday and her birthday is next week.  She is taking great joy in reminding me that I am so old, that I have a middle school daughter.

For her birthday, my wife and I have gone back and forth as to whether or not to get her the cellphone she desires as a birthday present.  Of course, I, the protector, want to shield my daughter from all that is bad in the world and giving her this present could open her up to so many negative things such as cyberbullying, sexting, etc.  My wife on the other hand, is taking an entirely different path.  She wants to let my daughter get the cellphone.  Of course, there are rules, written in contract form, as to what she would be allowed to do and not do, but she really wants to give our daughter a chance to prove to us she can handle this responsibility.

The difference between my wife and I is the fact that she really has the faith that our daughter will do the right thing.  If something bad happens, my wife has faith my daughter will come to her.  If she is having problems with another student, my wife has faith my daughter will talk with her about it.  My wife has the faith Peter had while jumping off the boat and started to walk on the water, and I am pretty sure I have already taken my eyes off of Jesus and started to sink.

As much as I hate to say this, but my daughter is no longer the cute little girl that daddy pushes on the swing.  She is rapidly becoming a fine young lady, who would rather I drop her off a block from her friend’s house for fear I might embarrass her.  Don’t get me wrong, she has her days, just like any middle school child.  However, it is time for me to have faith that my wife and I are doing everything the way we are supposed to.  I am sure she will mess up, make a mistake, make us question our decision, and start sinking.  I now have to have faith that, like Jesus, I will be there to keep her from drowning.

 

Where is your faith?  Do you have what it takes to jump off the boat and start walking on the water?  If so, do you have what it takes to walk all the way to the shore, or do you fear that you might start sinking?

 

 

 

 

 

Understanding Heart

I cannot believe school is just about ready to start.  I am looking forward to another great year and hope you are as well.  The school building is shaping up and we are almost ready for the PTO Blessing of the Backpacks events, this Saturday and the Kindergarten Social on Sunday. 

I am ready to get back into the swing of things, and that includes my weekly note.  I must say, I have missed writing this column and am probably a little bit rusty, so bear with me as I try to get back into things.  That being said, I must say, this past weekend’s Mass readings gave me the perfect idea to write about today.

In the first reading King Solomon was given, by God, anything he wanted.  Before we get into his response, I must say, my thoughts if God would have asked me this question would be countless, and pretty selfish.  I would have thought about endless riches, world power, and more.  But what Solomon asked for was something I think we need more now than ever, an understanding heart.  Here, a man, a leader, a King, who could have had anything he wanted, and he asked for an understanding heart.  Do you know of anyone who would ask for something that benefited anyone other than them? 

We live in a pretty hostile world right now.  We have talk shows that put two people from opposite sides of a topic together and let them argue and fight, usually ending in a shouting match, and portraying a total dislike for the person.  This occurs across the field of sports, politics, relationships, blogs, etc.  Two people pitted against each other and our human nature to win at all cost, means that someone has to win and the other has to lose.  What I find most disturbing about this thought process is, it has led to the idea that if you and I disagree on one topic, then we must have to dislike each other forever, for we could not possible agree on any other topic.  How could you and I be friends if you do not believe the same way I do?(written with a little sarcasm)

I try my best to not let myself get trapped into these baited situations, but sometimes it is not very easy.  If I find myself not agreeing with someone, I try my best to get my point across, and often do not understand why they won’t believe my way.  That is usually followed with a bit of sarcasm or a sentence or two involving name calling.  It is not so easy to see my human nature taking over, before it is too late.  I wonder how these conversations would go if everyone entered with an understanding heart.

Can you imagine how an understanding heart could change conversations or decisions?  Lately, watching two people screaming, yelling, protesting, etc. has created nothing but more frustration and hatred.  How about going into a situation with an understanding heart?  It is my goal to have a more understanding heart, so when I get into these situations, that they can be handled without screaming or yelling.  Going into a situation with an understanding heart does not mean I will change my opinion, nor will I expect it to change your opinion.  But, when both sides understand each other, I would hope then the Win/Win situations would be endless, allowing us all to work together.  Surely, understanding hearts would get more done than name calling and hatred.

Let’s all seek understanding, before making any decisions.  What better place to start, than to take King Solomon’s wish of an understanding heart, and applying it to our own hearts.  Let’s get together and share opinions seeking first to understand, then work on the solutions, together. 

My prayer for this year is that God gives us all an understanding heart to help us better work together.

Who is Picking These Things

“Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.”

 

For those of you that follow the school twitter account(@SPX7200), the above quote was posted first thing Wednesday morning.  For those that want to know my secret, each week I google “inspirational quotes” and randomly pick five quotes, one per day, for the following week.  I really have no order or rhyme or reason as to why I pick my quotes, other than to say, I find them helpful to our mission or truly inspirational.  The first quote I pick is Mondays, the second one I pick is Tuesdays, see the pattern.

 

I share Wednesday’s quote with you, because I am not sure, but pretty sure(the quandary I am in) this quote picked me and Wednesday.  I say this because I really believe I have no rhyme or reason to the quote I picked, but I am pretty sure God does.  Let me explain.

 

Each day, the Catholic Church picks a saint to honor.  This Wednesday we celebrated the life of St. Matthew, the tax collector.  Fr. Hunter had a beautiful homily explaining how Jesus simply went to Matthew and said “Follow Me,” and without hesitation, Matthew did exactly that.  From that point on, Matthew lived his life, following Jesus, and living in such a way that those that had bad things to say about him, people did not believe it.  Matthew then became a Saint and an example for us all. 

 

Fr. Hunter talked with the children about how we can change our lives, just like Matthew.  He explained how our children could be leaders by forgiving those that make us mad.  He said that IT is never too late to show mercy and to change our lives like St. Matthew changed his.

 

I share both the quote and the summary of Fr. Hunter’s homily, because they are both essentially telling us the same thing.  While I am pretty sure I have not lived my entire life in such a way that no one would speak badly of me, I, like St. Matthew, can change my life and follow Him.  It is never too late to change our ways. 

 

When we change our ways, it changes our heart.  When we forgive someone for wronging us, or offending us, it changes our heart.  When we are forgiven, by others, for wronging them, it changes our hearts.  The more we forgive, the more mercy we show and the more mercy will be given to us.  Pope Frances recently tweeted, “Mercy can truly contribute to the building up of a more humane world.”  Forgiveness is one of the many ways we can show Mercy.

 

As you can see, a randomly selected quote, and the message of the weekly Mass coincided.  What was clearly random for me, certainly was not random for God.

I Need His Help

Two weeks ago, I wrote about how the gospel story of getting into Heaven through the narrow gate and how it reminded me of the traffic jam I was in.  If you recall, I started assessing the "traffic jams" in my life that might prevent me from traveling the straight and narrow path to Heaven, instead giving me a winding, curvy, hilly road.  The longer I was in the traffic jam, the longer the list got. 

I am a list maker.  I like lists.  I like their order and organization.  If I put something on a list, there is a much more likely chance I will accomplish said task.  Don't get me wrong, I do not list everything I do, and there are some days that I can get by without one.  But when the days start to get overwhelming, it is best that I put things on the list, so I can cross them off as I complete them. 

So over the last two weeks, I thought it might be best that I add to my list some things that will allow me to straighten out my path and narrow my road.  I had all sorts of things planned and calendared to allow me to "Sharpen my Saw," as a father, husband, and administrator.  The items on the list are not that important, but there were plenty of things to do, that were going to allow me to not work so much, play ball with my son, have dinner with my wife, etc.  But as you can imagine, I did none of the things on the list.  Yes I said it, NONE OF THEM.  

Thanks to God putting this thought of the narrow gate into my head, I have come up with every conceivable option to make this work.  I planned on changing this, or doing that.  I even put some things on my calendar, just so they would act as reminders to me and I would knock some of the things off the list.  Yet no matter what I did, I changed nothing. 

Nothing changed, because I forgot to the most important thing, and that is to invite God into the decision.  I was trying to do it all by myself.  Go figure!!!  God gives me the idea, then I come up with ways to make it work.  I do it all on my own.  I am listing things to help me fix my problem, yet nothing changed.  I listened to God long enough to understand the problem, but never did I listen for a solution, for I thought it was a pretty easy fix. 

Sometimes God allows us to solve our own problems, He trust us to handle certain situations.  Sometimes we can only solve certain problems, when we ask for His guidance, only when we invite Him to be part of our life, and yes, sometimes, when we give it to Him, in prayer, for Him to handle.  Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that we cannot do things on our own, and we need Him to show us the way.  I promise you, I would not have had anything to write in the weekly note this week, if I did not ask Him for help.

Retreat talk to the parents

 

 

Last night I had the pleasure to visit our 8^th graders on their retreat.  I was there for Mass, Dinner and then gave a talk about effective parenting.  As many of you know, most speeches I give are written out and read.  This talk, though, was not.  It was definitely outside my comfort zone to talk using an outline, instead of a written speech.  Now I am writing my thoughts for the weekly note. 

When you Google “books on Effective Parenting,” there are 2, 180,000 choices.  When you watch talk shows that give advice about parenting, they give strategies to help parents with their “defiant children,” or vice versa.  So there is probably not that much I can say that hasn’t been heard before.  I am definitely not inventing Effective Parenting.

What experience do I have to talk about effective parenting?  Well, I am a father of an 11yr old girl and a 9ry old boy, neither of which came with a “how to” manual when they were born.  I have been in the education field for the last 23 years, as a teacher or administrator.  I am also the child of two very effective parents, Gus and Ruth Mayer.

All that said, I still have my faults.  I am NOT the perfect parent.  My lovely wife, while a much better parent than me, is NOT a perfect parent.  My wife is raising the children like she was raised, and I am raising the children like I was raised.  Together, we have combined our ways of being raised and even though it is hard sometimes, we are raising our children as best we know how.

There is a myth out there about students losing touch with their faith in college.  Unfortunately, that is not true.  It has been proven that college enhances their faith, based on where they were before entering college.  So whatever their faith before college, will grow while they are there.  Middle school and High school is the most important time to plant and cultivate the seed of faith.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that parents are the first and most important teacher of faith to children.  One of my most favorite quotes says, “If we do not teach our children to love Christ, the world will teach them not to.”  Where does the breakdown occur? 

There is a fast food restaurant on just about every corner, because we are busier than ever before.  Our children reach middle school, and the business of their life seems to grow exponentially.  We want our children to be in everything for reach of missing something.  Families are busier than ever, but the amount of time in a day never changes.  Something has to be cut out of the calendar to make time for everything.  What can we do as parents?

Our children need us now more than ever.  We are fighting the reality television and social media world, a world that has changed rapidly since I was a teenager.   Thinking back to my childhood, my mother had one mandatory family dinner a week.  It did not matter if we had a practice, study group, or a work schedule, you never missed mom’s mandatory dinner.  Yes my mother calendared family time.  In this ever increasing busy world, calendars are becoming the only way to make sure we get to where we need to be.

I always said, anything I need to know I learned on the school bus.  While our children do not ride the bus, we take them to and from school.  If it is a 5 minute drive, or longer, children are trapped in the car.  Spend that time talking to them about your day.  You are the preverbal bus driver, make the ride to and from school a no cellphone ride.  Even if you car pool, listen to the children as they talk amongst themselves.  Be there for them and coach them in the right direction on how to behave, speak, or resolve a problem.

This evening, you gave your children the most important lesson in faith, you attended Mass with them.  Later you will have a couple of other opportunities to show your children the importance of your faith.  There will be an opportunity to be in the presence of Jesus Christ, for we will be having Eucharistic Adoration.  Spending time with Jesus, shows children that it is not just a bland wafer, it shows your true belief in the presence of the Lord.  Also, you will have the opportunity to attend the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  The more we receive forgiveness for our sins, the more likely we are to forgive others.  Think of all the arguments, fusses, and fights, that could quickly be defused when our children get better at forgiveness.

At last, take time to talk with your children.  Share your faith journey with them.  Ask them what you can do to help them in their faith life.  Draw up a contract listing your expectation, listing the ways you will help them to understand their faith.  Yes, a written, signed contract, and hold your children to the contract, and do not be upset when they hold you to your end of the contract.

Bottle Neck and the Narrow Gate

Each week I write a small reflection and share it in my school's weekly note.  Below is the post for this week.

 

 

Last Sunday's Gospel has been on my mind for quite some time.  It seems that every time I get a free moment, the story of entering through the "narrow gate" popped into my head.  I have had pictures come to mind showing a long line of people trying to get into a gate that has room enough for only one person.  The vision came very clear when I was stuck in a bottle neck traffic jam, on my way home Wednesday.

As I was sitting in this traffic jam, and this image came to my mind, it made me curious as to why the "line" was so long to get through town.  Surely there was a wreck or construction traffic, and as I suspected a car stalled which led to a 4 car bumper tapping accident.  Well, as you can imagine, with emergency vehicles, and rubber-neckers, the line kept getting longer and traffic was barely a crawl. Can you imagine the line to enter into the "narrow gate of Heaven" looking something like this? 

This led me to think, what are the traffic jams of my life?  What are the things that would put me in the long line to enter into the narrow gate?  Do I often place work ahead of my family?  Do I forgo having a family dinner so my children can participate in every possible afterschool activity, just to keep them busy? I must say, the longer I waited in the traffic jam, I was a little disappointed in how long my list was getting.

It never ceases to amaze me how many times God puts a thought in my head and how many times I ignore the thought, or say to myself, I am too busy to do anything about it.  If I ignore Him long enough, it is amazing how He puts me into a situation, such as the traffic jam, to bring the point home.

So, now it is time for me to assess things and unclutter my traffic jam.  If I want the straight path to the narrow gate, I have to assess the things that control me and take me down the winding road, or completely break me down on the side of the road, and learn how to straighten them out.  Am I working too many hours?  Am I too tired when I get home to play catch with my son?  Am I creating balance between my family and doing the things I like to do?  My path needs a lot of work.

Bob might be on to something here

The following is a post from Scott Levy's LinkedIn page.  Scott is a good friend of mine, I met 8 years ago, through his wife Susan, a terrific 4th grade teacher at my last job. 

I loved this post.  I think Bob might just be on to something here.

Listen I know this is not Facebook and so I am always careful about what I post or like on LinkedIn. Last night I was sitting by a very wise 87 year old gentleman (Bob) that I play poker with once a week. He has served his country in the military, fought cancer, has had 6 bypass surgeries, had a career as a teacher, and has plenty of stories. Last night he handed me a slip of paper saying this is how he lives his life. As I sat reading what he handed to me I was struck by the depth of content and touching words to live by.

I thought to myself, what a wonderful gift this guy had just given to me. I consider Bob a “seasoned” guy not an old or elderly guy. I don’t like the term elderly or old I think it is disrespectful. This folks are “seasoned” from time, tears, blood, sweat, and have plenty they can teach all of us if we will take time to listen. I think so many times we miss or don’t take the opportunity to sit down with a grandparent or a seasoned individual and just listen to them talk. The amazing experiences and stories they can share are priceless. They can both inspire and remind us of how lucky we are today. To think about the things we take for granted today versus 50 years ago, amazing!

Sitting talking with Bob last night gave me pause to be thankful for what I have and also take time to listen to my seasoned friends. I would suggest to anybody who reads this to take time to sit down and just have a chat with a “seasoned” person. The things we can learn, the wisdom they can share is priceless. What a shame to let their special stories and experiences be lost never to be passed along to somebody else. As the father of two wonderful daughters I tell friends that as a parent I feel it is my duty and responsibility to create memories for my children. I do hope that you all will take time to listen to somebody older than you. Have them pass along one of their memories so that you can share it with the next generation.

Am I Like Judas?

 

 The blog this week is from the weekly note that I send to the parents of St. Pius X Catholic School.

 

 

The Gospel at this week's school Mass was the story of Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus.  For 30 pieces of silver, and a simple kiss on the cheek, Judas presented Jesus to those who wanted Him crucified.  In Fr. Jim's homily, he asked the question, "What was going on in Judas's life that would make him want to do this?"  Kind of makes me wonder, as well.  Fr. Jim's question got me to thinking...  In what parts of my life have I been more like Judas? 

 

Was Judas greedy, and given an offer he could not refuse?  It forced me to reflect on the times where I could have been more giving of my time, talents, and treasure.  What opportunities did I overlook helping another with my time?  Was there an opportunity in which I could have donated some money to someone in need and instead I looked away?

 

Was Judas jealous of all the attention Jesus was getting?  Remember, the townspeople were laying palm on the streets as Jesus entered into town.  So I wondered, when was I jealous of a colleague?  When was I jealous of something a friend has, that I wish I could have?

 

Was Judas afraid for his life and given an alternative to betray Jesus or die?  While I have never been in a "rebuke Jesus or die situation," have there been times where I kept my thoughts and feelings of faith to myself, in fear of retribution?  Have there been times where I missed an opportunity to evangelize the Good News out of cowardice?

 

This list could go on and on because, and as I often say, "I am a sinner, striving to be a saint."  There is, however, one thing that I understand, that maybe Judas did not.  No matter what I do or say, no matter how often I act more like Judas, Jesus will always forgive, if I ask.  While Judas was a witness to the forgiving heart of Jesus, maybe his heart was not in the right place when he decided to betray Jesus, just like my heart is not in the right place when I think of myself instead of helping others.  Every time I am like Judas, I know that all I have to do is seek out God's forgiveness.  As we enter into the last few days of Holy Week, I pray that I will recognize situations and choose to act like Jesus and not Judas.  But if I don't, I hope I recognize the errs of my ways and recognize that I need God's forgiveness.

Are my fears my children's

My brother has an incredibly irrational fear of roller coasters.  He has such a fear of them that he never goes to theme parks.  I once invited his son to an amusement park and I quickly realized that my nephew has an irrational fear of roller coasters, and it is my guess that this fear was instilled from his father.  It was then that I started thinking, do I have a fear that I have instilled on my children? 

I must say that I am lucky enough that I will try almost anything once, whether or not I think I am going to like it, so at the early stages of my children’s life I do not think I have shown them a fear of any kind.  However, there is something that I have not taught my children and it is something I have failed to lead by example, and could be considered my fear.

Over the next couple of weeks there are four opportunities, here in the North Deanery, for us to receive the Sacrament of Confession.  Confession is, without a doubt, my least favorite of the Sacraments.  It is my least favorite because it is a time that I have to share my weakness towards sin.  It is natural for ones in a leadership position to do everything in their power to not expose weakness, so I think this is why it is hard for me to go to Confession. 

Now do not get me wrong, I do go to Confession during Advent and Lent, as we are supposed to do.  While I should go more often, I at least go during the two most important seasons of the liturgical year.  And I must say, as much as I dread going on my way to church, I cannot believe how much better I feel the moment I have received absolution.  The feeling of joy that overcomes me is better than any thrill ride at an amusement park.

I tell you this story of my own struggles because although my children do not know how I feel about Confession, for I always go to the service by myself, I am not showing my children that I go, and by proxy, instilling on them a fear they do not even know.  I am sure most everyone believes that parents are the first and most important teachers of our children.  When it comes to faith, it is especially important that we, as parents, lead by example.  Sending our children to Catholic Schools could be all for naught, if we as parents do not take on this important leadership role.

I cannot believe I am the only one that fears the confessional, for if I was, the lines for Confession would be much longer.  So, for me, I will be taking my children to Confession and leading by example.  I will pray that God gives me the strength to overcome my fear, and not instill it on my children, so I can be a better example to them. 

I ask that you consider attending one of the four confession times with your family.   Take this opportunity to lead by example.  I pray for all those that have the same fear of the Confessional I have.  I pray that God gives them the wisdom to understand the graces and mercy that come from this most blessed Sacrament.

Fasting for 40 Days and the Gift That Came With It

Today, we celebrated the Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  For the next 40 days, Christians are asked to fast, to participate in Almsgiving, and generally use this time to remember the 40 days Jesus was in the desert and tempted by Satan.  What does that mean for us as Christians?

Over the next 40 days, we, as Christians, are asked to sacrifice something that is important to us.  Over the years, I have given up soda, chocolate, coffee, and one year I gave up drinking anything, with the exception of water.  I must say, drinking only water for 40 days was a pretty hard thing to do, but the task was completed.   That Easter, I went to midnight Mass, just so when I left, I could grab a Diet Coke on my way home. 

 

This was the hardest Lent fasting I had ever had.  Every time I drank water, I reveled in the thought of drinking a Diet Coke, an iced tea, a coffee, anything but water.  I planned my route home from church and picked out the corner store that I was going to go to and purchase anything to drink, other than water.  I even thought about packing a cooler, so I could return to my soda drinking ways, but I thought it would look bad to tailgate in the church parking lot, on Easter Sunday. 

Every day, I thought of nothing more than drinking anything but water, and as the days went on, 10, 20, 25, 30, I grew more anxious to drink anything.  To hydrate with a Diet Coke, or a cup of coffee, was almost to the forefront of every waking moment.  The closer it got to Easter, the more excited I got.  It was no different than a child waking up at five in the morning Christmas Day.

So it is Easter Eve… I have waited for this time, what seems like forever, but really was only the 40 days.  I spent all day looking at my watch, over and over, hoping time would go by quicker, so it would be Mass time.  I can assure you that this day was the earliest I had ever been to an Easter service, and not to save a seat, but in hopes that we could get this Mass started and over so I could retrieve what I told myself I could not have.  I have built up 40 days of craving anything other than water, and it is all about to come to an end.  That’s when God took over…

You see, when I left that Easter Mass, I did not tailgate in the parking lot.  I went home a different way, than I had mapped out.  My craving for a flavored drink was gone.  What happened??  Why did this all the sudden stop on Easter Sunday?  I could not believe what was happening to me. 

It was on my drive home that it dawned on me, every time I craved something other than water, I would spend some time talking with God.  Sometimes I would ask Him for help through the craving, sometimes I would shout at Him, in anger, and sometimes I reminded Him that I was doing this for Him, the least He could do is help me out.  Giving up something for God, and not wanting to disappoint Him, was the reason I resisted every temptation.  It was exactly the plan He had in mind for me.  I got closer to Him, through prayer, which at the time, was a weakness in my faith. 

Now when times get tough, I often will drink water, just to remind myself to have that conversation with God.  Sometimes, when I drink water, just because, I thank God for the wonderful gifts he has given me.  Something as simple as a glass of water, is one of the most important parts of my prayer life.  That 40 day fast, five or six years ago, has affected me to this day.  I did not just give something up, as I still drink flavored drinks.  I allowed the fasting to get me closer to God, it changed me.  So as you are fasting this Lent, be open to God and His plans for you.

Prayers for Principals

The blog this week is from the weekly note that I send to the parents of St. Pius X.  Every week this note contains important dates, events, and a short note from me. 

It certainly has been a difficult time for the communities of Park Tudor and Lawrence Township.  Please remember to keep both communities in your prayers as they deal with the trying times.  Death of friends, family members, and people that have special meaning in our lives is difficult. 

 

The loss of someone special often times leaves a feeling of sadness, or what we perceive to be a void in our life.  We wonder how things are going to be the same without them, or wonder what we are to do now.  A special tradition, the weekly calendar event you had planned, are now void of this special person.  What are we to do now?

 

When my father lost his wife, my mother, he lost the love of his life, his companion, and his bridge partner.  I truly thought he would never play the game of bridge, a game he was very good at, and loved almost as much as he loved my mother.  How was dad going to fill his life?  The way my father coped with the loss of his wife, was a true inspiration and great lesson for me.

 

You see, my father, through much grief and prayer, decided to honor my mother and continue to play bridge, even without his life-long bridge partner.  My father took time to teach his siblings, my mother’s siblings, his nieces and nephews, how to play this challenging game.  Not only that, but he chose my mother’s aunt, who lived in a nursing home, as his new  bridge partner.  He played bridge with my aunt Mary, every Tuesday evening, every week, for many years.

 

My father chose to honor my mother, an elementary teacher, by becoming a teacher and teaching what he knew so well.  He chose to continue to share his love for my mother, by continuing to take an active role in her family and doing what my mother would do, if she were still with us.  What he did not know is, that by his actions, he has taught me to cope with a loss, by remembering and honoring my mother in such a special way.

 

I ask that you keep the communities of Park Tudor and Lawrence Township in your prayers.  Pray for those who are affected by the loss of Susan Jordan and Matthew Miller.  Pray that God give them the strength to deal with the loss, and that He give those grieving the wisdom to remember both of them in that special way.  Pray that God give them ideas to honor them and fill the void left behind.  Park Tudor and Lawrence Township, you are in my prayers.

it's simple....SIMPLIFY!!!

In today's Gospel, Jesus sends his disciples two by two, to preach the word of God.  He tells them to only take the cloak on their back and the sandals on their feet.  They were to go to a house and if they were invited in, preach, and if they were turned away, leave.  Jesus sent them out in a simple way and with almost nothing, as to not to worry about do they have this, and that, much like we do when we pack for a vacation.  Do we have the phone charger, did I pack my swim suit, etc... And to top it all off, Fr. John's message to the students was to be simple.  For the more we have, the more we have to worry about, and that takes our mind off of God and His message.  Fr. John says why bring 100 pencils to school when you only need one.  Having so many pencils means one has to worry about not losing them.

If you have read any of my past blogs, you will know that I am a true believer that God sends thoughts into my head and then later just brings the thought home, and today was no different.  You see, as the season is starting to change, so is my wardrobe.  It is time to trade in the short sleeve shirts and shorts, and time to dust off the long pants, sweaters, and jackets.  And every year as we go from Summer to Fall, I will take inventory of the summer clothes I have not worn, for the entire summer, and bag them up and donate them to Goodwill.  I usually do this over my Fall Break, and vice versa, do the same at Spring Break, with the winter clothes I did not wear over the winter.

As you can imagine, with the nice cool mornings and evenings over the last few days, the thought of doing my summer clothing donation has jumped into my head, about a hundred times over the last week or so.  And yet today, the Gospel passage, and Fr. John's message to be simple, was proof, to me that is, that God wants me to make the wardrobe change. 

I tell that long story because there are many times in my life that I do not believe I can hear God talking to me, especially when I am struggling.  I pray and pray and pray, waiting for a sign, or a simple conversation and I do not hear nary a thing.  Not one iota of a conversation.  But guess what, I do not hear it, not because it is not there, but because my life is so crowded with things that there is to much muck to wade through before I can even think about what God wants me to do. 

So it is my sincere hope to start to simplify the thoughts in my head, the busyness of the day, the have to do this and that, etc.  I have to simplify those things, like I simplify my wardrobe every year.  When I simplify, it rids me of the clutter that blocks my path to God's Kingdom.  So maybe, just maybe, one day, God will send me two by two, to spread his word. 

It is simple, SIMPLIFY!!!

From Hawk to Panther

Well the time has come.  The last seven years as principal of St. Charles Borromeo Catholic School has come to an end. It has been the best seven years of my career.  It was also very humbling to look back and see the mistakes, accomplishments, trials, tribulations, joys, sorrows, etc.  The last several months(I announced that I was not returning in February) have been very long and very difficult for emotional reasons.

I cannot believe it has been seven years.  Looking back, they flew by so fast, it is almost like a flash of lightening going across a dark, cloudy sky.  I have seen some real joys, hiring teachers, graduating 8th graders, working with the best staff of my career so far, watching three friends of mine become ordained priest.  The joys are endless, and so fruitful, it wasn't until some people reminded me of them, that I even remembered. 

I have been the luckiest person in the world for another reason.  I had the joy, for the last six years, of taking my children to work.  Because my children attended St. Charles, everyday was take your children to work day, for me.  The downside to this is it was hard to separate being a father and a principal sometimes.  The difficulty of separating the two, led to the decision to leave St. Charles.  I decided that they were becoming to intermingled and it was hard to separate the two roles.  I was reminded that Father and Husband was the first vocation given to me by God, and it was time to renew that, and take away the role of principal.  That being said, with great sadness, I decided to not renew for another year.


Side note:  My children were upset at first, and a little confused.  In the past, I would not let them have sleepovers at our house, for I was the principal of their friends, which was a huge conflict of interest, for me.  The kids were sad, at first, and there might have been some tears when I told them I would not be retuning as principal. Once I told them they could now have sleepovers with their friends, the amount of time it took to tears to dry up, and the sleepover list to be created couldn't be timed at the Indy 500.  Let's just say, they got over it quickly.

I am back.  With any position, there comes some sadness.  I have helped families struggle through some tragedies.  We lost a dear friend and staff member.  This was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I had to do in my career.  Console a staff member, whose just lost her husband(another staff member), while trying to hold it together myself.  It was difficult, but with God's grace, we have all made it through.

Now it is time to move on.  While it took some time between February and May, not to mention the sleepless nights, not wanting to eat, all the signs that come with stress, I am delighted and excited to announce that I am officially the principal of St. Pius X in Indianapolis.  No longer am I a St. Charles Hawk, I am now a St. Pius Panther.  I am as excited to get things going at St. Pius X, as I was seven years ago for St. Charles Borromeo.  It is a renewed feeling and I feel refreshed and ready to move forward.

I ask your prayers for me, the St. Pius X community, and the St. Charles Borromeo community.  With God's close eye on us, we will all hopefully make it through these transitions with more joys than pains.

I know you have heard me say this before, but I will really try to blog more.  Don't forget to sign up for email alerts whenever I do post.  It will prevent you from checking back and seeing no change, and the frustration that comes with it.

Your prayers are greatly appreciated.