Who is Picking These Things

“Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.”

 

For those of you that follow the school twitter account(@SPX7200), the above quote was posted first thing Wednesday morning.  For those that want to know my secret, each week I google “inspirational quotes” and randomly pick five quotes, one per day, for the following week.  I really have no order or rhyme or reason as to why I pick my quotes, other than to say, I find them helpful to our mission or truly inspirational.  The first quote I pick is Mondays, the second one I pick is Tuesdays, see the pattern.

 

I share Wednesday’s quote with you, because I am not sure, but pretty sure(the quandary I am in) this quote picked me and Wednesday.  I say this because I really believe I have no rhyme or reason to the quote I picked, but I am pretty sure God does.  Let me explain.

 

Each day, the Catholic Church picks a saint to honor.  This Wednesday we celebrated the life of St. Matthew, the tax collector.  Fr. Hunter had a beautiful homily explaining how Jesus simply went to Matthew and said “Follow Me,” and without hesitation, Matthew did exactly that.  From that point on, Matthew lived his life, following Jesus, and living in such a way that those that had bad things to say about him, people did not believe it.  Matthew then became a Saint and an example for us all. 

 

Fr. Hunter talked with the children about how we can change our lives, just like Matthew.  He explained how our children could be leaders by forgiving those that make us mad.  He said that IT is never too late to show mercy and to change our lives like St. Matthew changed his.

 

I share both the quote and the summary of Fr. Hunter’s homily, because they are both essentially telling us the same thing.  While I am pretty sure I have not lived my entire life in such a way that no one would speak badly of me, I, like St. Matthew, can change my life and follow Him.  It is never too late to change our ways. 

 

When we change our ways, it changes our heart.  When we forgive someone for wronging us, or offending us, it changes our heart.  When we are forgiven, by others, for wronging them, it changes our hearts.  The more we forgive, the more mercy we show and the more mercy will be given to us.  Pope Frances recently tweeted, “Mercy can truly contribute to the building up of a more humane world.”  Forgiveness is one of the many ways we can show Mercy.

 

As you can see, a randomly selected quote, and the message of the weekly Mass coincided.  What was clearly random for me, certainly was not random for God.

I Need His Help

Two weeks ago, I wrote about how the gospel story of getting into Heaven through the narrow gate and how it reminded me of the traffic jam I was in.  If you recall, I started assessing the "traffic jams" in my life that might prevent me from traveling the straight and narrow path to Heaven, instead giving me a winding, curvy, hilly road.  The longer I was in the traffic jam, the longer the list got. 

I am a list maker.  I like lists.  I like their order and organization.  If I put something on a list, there is a much more likely chance I will accomplish said task.  Don't get me wrong, I do not list everything I do, and there are some days that I can get by without one.  But when the days start to get overwhelming, it is best that I put things on the list, so I can cross them off as I complete them. 

So over the last two weeks, I thought it might be best that I add to my list some things that will allow me to straighten out my path and narrow my road.  I had all sorts of things planned and calendared to allow me to "Sharpen my Saw," as a father, husband, and administrator.  The items on the list are not that important, but there were plenty of things to do, that were going to allow me to not work so much, play ball with my son, have dinner with my wife, etc.  But as you can imagine, I did none of the things on the list.  Yes I said it, NONE OF THEM.  

Thanks to God putting this thought of the narrow gate into my head, I have come up with every conceivable option to make this work.  I planned on changing this, or doing that.  I even put some things on my calendar, just so they would act as reminders to me and I would knock some of the things off the list.  Yet no matter what I did, I changed nothing. 

Nothing changed, because I forgot to the most important thing, and that is to invite God into the decision.  I was trying to do it all by myself.  Go figure!!!  God gives me the idea, then I come up with ways to make it work.  I do it all on my own.  I am listing things to help me fix my problem, yet nothing changed.  I listened to God long enough to understand the problem, but never did I listen for a solution, for I thought it was a pretty easy fix. 

Sometimes God allows us to solve our own problems, He trust us to handle certain situations.  Sometimes we can only solve certain problems, when we ask for His guidance, only when we invite Him to be part of our life, and yes, sometimes, when we give it to Him, in prayer, for Him to handle.  Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that we cannot do things on our own, and we need Him to show us the way.  I promise you, I would not have had anything to write in the weekly note this week, if I did not ask Him for help.

Retreat talk to the parents

 

 

Last night I had the pleasure to visit our 8^th graders on their retreat.  I was there for Mass, Dinner and then gave a talk about effective parenting.  As many of you know, most speeches I give are written out and read.  This talk, though, was not.  It was definitely outside my comfort zone to talk using an outline, instead of a written speech.  Now I am writing my thoughts for the weekly note. 

When you Google “books on Effective Parenting,” there are 2, 180,000 choices.  When you watch talk shows that give advice about parenting, they give strategies to help parents with their “defiant children,” or vice versa.  So there is probably not that much I can say that hasn’t been heard before.  I am definitely not inventing Effective Parenting.

What experience do I have to talk about effective parenting?  Well, I am a father of an 11yr old girl and a 9ry old boy, neither of which came with a “how to” manual when they were born.  I have been in the education field for the last 23 years, as a teacher or administrator.  I am also the child of two very effective parents, Gus and Ruth Mayer.

All that said, I still have my faults.  I am NOT the perfect parent.  My lovely wife, while a much better parent than me, is NOT a perfect parent.  My wife is raising the children like she was raised, and I am raising the children like I was raised.  Together, we have combined our ways of being raised and even though it is hard sometimes, we are raising our children as best we know how.

There is a myth out there about students losing touch with their faith in college.  Unfortunately, that is not true.  It has been proven that college enhances their faith, based on where they were before entering college.  So whatever their faith before college, will grow while they are there.  Middle school and High school is the most important time to plant and cultivate the seed of faith.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that parents are the first and most important teacher of faith to children.  One of my most favorite quotes says, “If we do not teach our children to love Christ, the world will teach them not to.”  Where does the breakdown occur? 

There is a fast food restaurant on just about every corner, because we are busier than ever before.  Our children reach middle school, and the business of their life seems to grow exponentially.  We want our children to be in everything for reach of missing something.  Families are busier than ever, but the amount of time in a day never changes.  Something has to be cut out of the calendar to make time for everything.  What can we do as parents?

Our children need us now more than ever.  We are fighting the reality television and social media world, a world that has changed rapidly since I was a teenager.   Thinking back to my childhood, my mother had one mandatory family dinner a week.  It did not matter if we had a practice, study group, or a work schedule, you never missed mom’s mandatory dinner.  Yes my mother calendared family time.  In this ever increasing busy world, calendars are becoming the only way to make sure we get to where we need to be.

I always said, anything I need to know I learned on the school bus.  While our children do not ride the bus, we take them to and from school.  If it is a 5 minute drive, or longer, children are trapped in the car.  Spend that time talking to them about your day.  You are the preverbal bus driver, make the ride to and from school a no cellphone ride.  Even if you car pool, listen to the children as they talk amongst themselves.  Be there for them and coach them in the right direction on how to behave, speak, or resolve a problem.

This evening, you gave your children the most important lesson in faith, you attended Mass with them.  Later you will have a couple of other opportunities to show your children the importance of your faith.  There will be an opportunity to be in the presence of Jesus Christ, for we will be having Eucharistic Adoration.  Spending time with Jesus, shows children that it is not just a bland wafer, it shows your true belief in the presence of the Lord.  Also, you will have the opportunity to attend the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  The more we receive forgiveness for our sins, the more likely we are to forgive others.  Think of all the arguments, fusses, and fights, that could quickly be defused when our children get better at forgiveness.

At last, take time to talk with your children.  Share your faith journey with them.  Ask them what you can do to help them in their faith life.  Draw up a contract listing your expectation, listing the ways you will help them to understand their faith.  Yes, a written, signed contract, and hold your children to the contract, and do not be upset when they hold you to your end of the contract.

Bottle Neck and the Narrow Gate

Each week I write a small reflection and share it in my school's weekly note.  Below is the post for this week.

 

 

Last Sunday's Gospel has been on my mind for quite some time.  It seems that every time I get a free moment, the story of entering through the "narrow gate" popped into my head.  I have had pictures come to mind showing a long line of people trying to get into a gate that has room enough for only one person.  The vision came very clear when I was stuck in a bottle neck traffic jam, on my way home Wednesday.

As I was sitting in this traffic jam, and this image came to my mind, it made me curious as to why the "line" was so long to get through town.  Surely there was a wreck or construction traffic, and as I suspected a car stalled which led to a 4 car bumper tapping accident.  Well, as you can imagine, with emergency vehicles, and rubber-neckers, the line kept getting longer and traffic was barely a crawl. Can you imagine the line to enter into the "narrow gate of Heaven" looking something like this? 

This led me to think, what are the traffic jams of my life?  What are the things that would put me in the long line to enter into the narrow gate?  Do I often place work ahead of my family?  Do I forgo having a family dinner so my children can participate in every possible afterschool activity, just to keep them busy? I must say, the longer I waited in the traffic jam, I was a little disappointed in how long my list was getting.

It never ceases to amaze me how many times God puts a thought in my head and how many times I ignore the thought, or say to myself, I am too busy to do anything about it.  If I ignore Him long enough, it is amazing how He puts me into a situation, such as the traffic jam, to bring the point home.

So, now it is time for me to assess things and unclutter my traffic jam.  If I want the straight path to the narrow gate, I have to assess the things that control me and take me down the winding road, or completely break me down on the side of the road, and learn how to straighten them out.  Am I working too many hours?  Am I too tired when I get home to play catch with my son?  Am I creating balance between my family and doing the things I like to do?  My path needs a lot of work.

Bob might be on to something here

The following is a post from Scott Levy's LinkedIn page.  Scott is a good friend of mine, I met 8 years ago, through his wife Susan, a terrific 4th grade teacher at my last job. 

I loved this post.  I think Bob might just be on to something here.

Listen I know this is not Facebook and so I am always careful about what I post or like on LinkedIn. Last night I was sitting by a very wise 87 year old gentleman (Bob) that I play poker with once a week. He has served his country in the military, fought cancer, has had 6 bypass surgeries, had a career as a teacher, and has plenty of stories. Last night he handed me a slip of paper saying this is how he lives his life. As I sat reading what he handed to me I was struck by the depth of content and touching words to live by.

I thought to myself, what a wonderful gift this guy had just given to me. I consider Bob a “seasoned” guy not an old or elderly guy. I don’t like the term elderly or old I think it is disrespectful. This folks are “seasoned” from time, tears, blood, sweat, and have plenty they can teach all of us if we will take time to listen. I think so many times we miss or don’t take the opportunity to sit down with a grandparent or a seasoned individual and just listen to them talk. The amazing experiences and stories they can share are priceless. They can both inspire and remind us of how lucky we are today. To think about the things we take for granted today versus 50 years ago, amazing!

Sitting talking with Bob last night gave me pause to be thankful for what I have and also take time to listen to my seasoned friends. I would suggest to anybody who reads this to take time to sit down and just have a chat with a “seasoned” person. The things we can learn, the wisdom they can share is priceless. What a shame to let their special stories and experiences be lost never to be passed along to somebody else. As the father of two wonderful daughters I tell friends that as a parent I feel it is my duty and responsibility to create memories for my children. I do hope that you all will take time to listen to somebody older than you. Have them pass along one of their memories so that you can share it with the next generation.

Congratulations to the Class of 2016

The blog this week is the speech I delivered to the St. Pius X graduating class of 2016. 

Being that this is my first year as principal of St. Pius X, and as I was deciding what to say this evening, I felt that I should tell you all a little bit about myself, because my past greatly influenced this speech.  I started my career 22 years ago, as a middle school Science teacher and spent my formative years teaching fourth grade.  My favorite subject to teach was Indiana History.  As you already know, we just celebrated the 100th running of the Greatest Spectacle in racing and in December we celebrate the 200th Anniversary of our great state.  So what better way to celebrate your final event as a St. Pius student, than relate it to the State of Indiana, for you are now a part of history.

 

Indiana is divided into three distinct regions, the northern part of the state is the Lakes and Moraines(for those that don’t know what a Moraine is, it is a glacially formed accumulation of unconsolidated glacial debris, trust me I had to look that up myself).  As we travel south, you enter into the central till and plains, and then finally end in the southern hills and lowlands.  How does this relate to me, you might ask… Allow me to explain…

 

You see, when you started your education as kindergarteners, you left the comfortable home environment, to go to school.  It was like your parents threw you into the lake, to swim and learn to survive.  Trust me, for your parents it was equally as eventful, except they had to climb over the rocky soil created by the moraines.  Low and behold, before we knew it, parents were mastering the rocky soil and you were learning to swim.  Each of you became better, stronger and more independent.  You learned everything you needed to know in Kindergarten and first grade and by the time second grade came around, you were master students.

 

From here you each moved to middle grades three through six.  Much like the central till and plains is the center of the state, you are now at the center part of your education.  Because of your knowledge, this part of the state, and your educational  journey is rather flat and easy to navigate, but it takes hard work and perseverance to get the land where you want it, and so the hard work and perseverance got you to middle school.

 

Now we move into the southern hills and lowlands.  What better way to compare middle school then with the ups and downs, and the highs and lows of the southern part of our state. 

 

The workload gets more difficult and well, just more.  You get a new principal and have to learn a different way of doing everything, some of your life long school friends are going to a different high school.  All which might feel like you are traveling in the lowland parts.

 

Then there is the Washington DC trip, winning the Hawks in the Hall basketball tournament, preparing to graduate, all of which have you reaching to top of the hills and now can see so far into the future.  It is like you are on top of the world.

 

As you leave St. Pius X and head to your high school, you have been prepared both academically and prepared to handle the ups and downs you will face in high school and beyond.  You will have to adjust to a new school, a new schedule, and a whole new set of rules, much like you had to adjust to a new principal.  Know that if you can handle the ups and downs of the southern hills and lowlands, also known as middle school, you can do anything.  Whether the road is winding and curvy, hilly or flat, your knowledge is strong, and your faith is stronger.  All of which will allow you accomplish anything you put your mind to. 

 

Before I finish, I would like to thank the parents for making this commitment to our children and our Church.  Your commitment to send your children to St. Pius all but ensures the growth of our parish and the larger church.  Our children’s success happens because of your commitment and working together to make sure your children succeed.

 

The class of 2016, you have made history here at St. Pius X.  As you journey on, continue to make history where ever you go.  Know that we wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, that we are very proud of all that you accomplished, and that you are prepared for anything that may come your way.  Know that God is with you wherever your path takes you.

What we all have in common...

In this week’s Gospel, for the school Mass, the Disciples tell Jesus about this strange man on the corner, driving out demons, in His name.  Jesus’s reply to them was, “Do not prevent him.  There is no one who performs a mighty deed in my name, who can at the same time speak ill of me.  For whoever is not against us is for us.”(Mark 9: 38-40).  Now I am not sure where anyone is in their own faith journey, but today’s Gospel hit particularly close to me, for I have been struggling lately.  Let me explain…

 

Lately, all that we hear on the news, radio, television, conversations with our friends, tends to be around groups of people.  These conversations usually involve people trying to convince others to follow their own personal opinion.  Many of these people apparently believe that if they cannot convince you, then they should shout louder, in hopes that it will convince you to change your mind.  Let me give you just a couple of examples:

 

I am not sure how anyone can listen to the radio, watch television, or drive down the road and not see or hear something political.  Right now our political process seems to be a bunch of shouting.  Another topic of great discussion/shouting is the debate out what bathroom people should use.  We have a terrorist group that is killing people because they will not conform to their beliefs.  This list could go on and on and on…..

 

I am not sure about you, but I have had enough of all the shouting, complaining, and offending.  How can we possibly change the way things are done or said?  I am not sure if we can, but I would like to offer up the following and see if people could give it a try.

 

Let’s talk about dignity.  The google definition of dignity is, “the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.”  Now let’s add to this the word “human.”  The most basic thing we all have in common is we are humans, regardless of color, gender, height, weight, wealth, beliefs, etc, we all have one thing in common, and that is we are human. 

 

If we were to follow the logic of the world today, all republicans should hate democrats, the wealthy should keep their wealth and turn away from the poor, another list that could go on and on.  However, if we put all the labels of a person to the side, and just go back to the basic common thread, human, it could be so much different. 

 

If you see someone with a political sign in their yard, they are still human, treat them with dignity, instead of hating them for their belief.  If you see the beggar on the side of the road, they are still human, treat them with dignity, even if you do not have any money to give.  If you see someone going into a church, mosque, temple, or any other house of worship, they are still human, treat them with dignity, even if their belief is different from yours.  Imagine a world where instead of arguing or shouting, we treated people with dignity because of our most common trait, we are human.  I wonder what the world would be like….