Who is Picking These Things

“Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.”

 

For those of you that follow the school twitter account(@SPX7200), the above quote was posted first thing Wednesday morning.  For those that want to know my secret, each week I google “inspirational quotes” and randomly pick five quotes, one per day, for the following week.  I really have no order or rhyme or reason as to why I pick my quotes, other than to say, I find them helpful to our mission or truly inspirational.  The first quote I pick is Mondays, the second one I pick is Tuesdays, see the pattern.

 

I share Wednesday’s quote with you, because I am not sure, but pretty sure(the quandary I am in) this quote picked me and Wednesday.  I say this because I really believe I have no rhyme or reason to the quote I picked, but I am pretty sure God does.  Let me explain.

 

Each day, the Catholic Church picks a saint to honor.  This Wednesday we celebrated the life of St. Matthew, the tax collector.  Fr. Hunter had a beautiful homily explaining how Jesus simply went to Matthew and said “Follow Me,” and without hesitation, Matthew did exactly that.  From that point on, Matthew lived his life, following Jesus, and living in such a way that those that had bad things to say about him, people did not believe it.  Matthew then became a Saint and an example for us all. 

 

Fr. Hunter talked with the children about how we can change our lives, just like Matthew.  He explained how our children could be leaders by forgiving those that make us mad.  He said that IT is never too late to show mercy and to change our lives like St. Matthew changed his.

 

I share both the quote and the summary of Fr. Hunter’s homily, because they are both essentially telling us the same thing.  While I am pretty sure I have not lived my entire life in such a way that no one would speak badly of me, I, like St. Matthew, can change my life and follow Him.  It is never too late to change our ways. 

 

When we change our ways, it changes our heart.  When we forgive someone for wronging us, or offending us, it changes our heart.  When we are forgiven, by others, for wronging them, it changes our hearts.  The more we forgive, the more mercy we show and the more mercy will be given to us.  Pope Frances recently tweeted, “Mercy can truly contribute to the building up of a more humane world.”  Forgiveness is one of the many ways we can show Mercy.

 

As you can see, a randomly selected quote, and the message of the weekly Mass coincided.  What was clearly random for me, certainly was not random for God.

I Need His Help

Two weeks ago, I wrote about how the gospel story of getting into Heaven through the narrow gate and how it reminded me of the traffic jam I was in.  If you recall, I started assessing the "traffic jams" in my life that might prevent me from traveling the straight and narrow path to Heaven, instead giving me a winding, curvy, hilly road.  The longer I was in the traffic jam, the longer the list got. 

I am a list maker.  I like lists.  I like their order and organization.  If I put something on a list, there is a much more likely chance I will accomplish said task.  Don't get me wrong, I do not list everything I do, and there are some days that I can get by without one.  But when the days start to get overwhelming, it is best that I put things on the list, so I can cross them off as I complete them. 

So over the last two weeks, I thought it might be best that I add to my list some things that will allow me to straighten out my path and narrow my road.  I had all sorts of things planned and calendared to allow me to "Sharpen my Saw," as a father, husband, and administrator.  The items on the list are not that important, but there were plenty of things to do, that were going to allow me to not work so much, play ball with my son, have dinner with my wife, etc.  But as you can imagine, I did none of the things on the list.  Yes I said it, NONE OF THEM.  

Thanks to God putting this thought of the narrow gate into my head, I have come up with every conceivable option to make this work.  I planned on changing this, or doing that.  I even put some things on my calendar, just so they would act as reminders to me and I would knock some of the things off the list.  Yet no matter what I did, I changed nothing. 

Nothing changed, because I forgot to the most important thing, and that is to invite God into the decision.  I was trying to do it all by myself.  Go figure!!!  God gives me the idea, then I come up with ways to make it work.  I do it all on my own.  I am listing things to help me fix my problem, yet nothing changed.  I listened to God long enough to understand the problem, but never did I listen for a solution, for I thought it was a pretty easy fix. 

Sometimes God allows us to solve our own problems, He trust us to handle certain situations.  Sometimes we can only solve certain problems, when we ask for His guidance, only when we invite Him to be part of our life, and yes, sometimes, when we give it to Him, in prayer, for Him to handle.  Sometimes we just need to accept the fact that we cannot do things on our own, and we need Him to show us the way.  I promise you, I would not have had anything to write in the weekly note this week, if I did not ask Him for help.

Retreat talk to the parents

 

 

Last night I had the pleasure to visit our 8^th graders on their retreat.  I was there for Mass, Dinner and then gave a talk about effective parenting.  As many of you know, most speeches I give are written out and read.  This talk, though, was not.  It was definitely outside my comfort zone to talk using an outline, instead of a written speech.  Now I am writing my thoughts for the weekly note. 

When you Google “books on Effective Parenting,” there are 2, 180,000 choices.  When you watch talk shows that give advice about parenting, they give strategies to help parents with their “defiant children,” or vice versa.  So there is probably not that much I can say that hasn’t been heard before.  I am definitely not inventing Effective Parenting.

What experience do I have to talk about effective parenting?  Well, I am a father of an 11yr old girl and a 9ry old boy, neither of which came with a “how to” manual when they were born.  I have been in the education field for the last 23 years, as a teacher or administrator.  I am also the child of two very effective parents, Gus and Ruth Mayer.

All that said, I still have my faults.  I am NOT the perfect parent.  My lovely wife, while a much better parent than me, is NOT a perfect parent.  My wife is raising the children like she was raised, and I am raising the children like I was raised.  Together, we have combined our ways of being raised and even though it is hard sometimes, we are raising our children as best we know how.

There is a myth out there about students losing touch with their faith in college.  Unfortunately, that is not true.  It has been proven that college enhances their faith, based on where they were before entering college.  So whatever their faith before college, will grow while they are there.  Middle school and High school is the most important time to plant and cultivate the seed of faith.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that parents are the first and most important teacher of faith to children.  One of my most favorite quotes says, “If we do not teach our children to love Christ, the world will teach them not to.”  Where does the breakdown occur? 

There is a fast food restaurant on just about every corner, because we are busier than ever before.  Our children reach middle school, and the business of their life seems to grow exponentially.  We want our children to be in everything for reach of missing something.  Families are busier than ever, but the amount of time in a day never changes.  Something has to be cut out of the calendar to make time for everything.  What can we do as parents?

Our children need us now more than ever.  We are fighting the reality television and social media world, a world that has changed rapidly since I was a teenager.   Thinking back to my childhood, my mother had one mandatory family dinner a week.  It did not matter if we had a practice, study group, or a work schedule, you never missed mom’s mandatory dinner.  Yes my mother calendared family time.  In this ever increasing busy world, calendars are becoming the only way to make sure we get to where we need to be.

I always said, anything I need to know I learned on the school bus.  While our children do not ride the bus, we take them to and from school.  If it is a 5 minute drive, or longer, children are trapped in the car.  Spend that time talking to them about your day.  You are the preverbal bus driver, make the ride to and from school a no cellphone ride.  Even if you car pool, listen to the children as they talk amongst themselves.  Be there for them and coach them in the right direction on how to behave, speak, or resolve a problem.

This evening, you gave your children the most important lesson in faith, you attended Mass with them.  Later you will have a couple of other opportunities to show your children the importance of your faith.  There will be an opportunity to be in the presence of Jesus Christ, for we will be having Eucharistic Adoration.  Spending time with Jesus, shows children that it is not just a bland wafer, it shows your true belief in the presence of the Lord.  Also, you will have the opportunity to attend the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  The more we receive forgiveness for our sins, the more likely we are to forgive others.  Think of all the arguments, fusses, and fights, that could quickly be defused when our children get better at forgiveness.

At last, take time to talk with your children.  Share your faith journey with them.  Ask them what you can do to help them in their faith life.  Draw up a contract listing your expectation, listing the ways you will help them to understand their faith.  Yes, a written, signed contract, and hold your children to the contract, and do not be upset when they hold you to your end of the contract.