Are You Lost or Just Hiding...

 

Last weekend, our parish invited Julie Carrick to our church for a Sunday evening concert.  I must admit, I had never heard of her, but our priest let her sing a song or two at Mass on Saturday evening.  Julie has one of the most beautiful voices, and her message is very clear.  Julie’s songs are all based on the struggles of the Catholic Faith in today’s world.  Her message is beautiful, and I highly recommend, if you ever get the chance to listen to her, to do so.

One of her songs, not sure of the title, for I remember the lyrics, really hit home, and the more I think about it, it hit really close to home.  As I said, not sure of the title, but the lyric I heard was, “Are you lost or are you hiding?”  Wow!!  I began to ponder the difference between lost and hiding, in the context of this song, and I then began to relate it to my personal life.

I determined there are times in my life, when I have been lost.  During those times, I was so far away from the faith and God, that neither registered on my radar screen, or pyramid (Picture a pyramid.  God is supposed to be on top, but on my pyramid, He did not exist.)  If I did something wrong, there was a good possibility, I did not care, for the top of my pyramid was me.  The perfect example is when driving down the road, and somebody cuts me off, I would get angry because I had to change direction or hit my breaks.  I’m not gonna lie, probably threw out a profanity or two at the driver.  It was all about me.  I was so lost, that God was never in the picture.

I determined there are also times in my life that I am hiding.  Hiding, while similar to lost, is different in the fact that hiding might be a right now time, and lost is for an extended period of time.  If I am hiding, Jesus might be on my pyramid, just not at the top.  My lost time was probably about 5+ years.  My hiding could be minutes, hours, or days and it could happen at any time.  An example of hiding actually occurred in the decision of deciding to go see Mrs. Carrick concert.

I had a pretty long weekend.  On the Saturday before the concert, we had a huge function at school called family cleaning day.  We had over two hundred people helping get the school and grounds looking sharp for the beginning of school on Monday.  After that, I went home, changed clothes, went back to church for the evening Mass.  Then finally, we had a back to school pool party.  Again, a lot of people showed up for a great evening.

All of these events were great, time consuming, but great.  On Sunday, I played golf, went home and was ready to rest and relax for the entire evening.  The perfect thing to do before the opening of school.  It dawned on me that this concert was this evening, and I decided I was going to hide.  I made every excuse in the book to hide.  I reminded myself that I had worked all day Saturday, school started on Monday, I was tired and ready to relax. 

No matter the excuse, I could not get this concert out of my mind.  I texted back and forth with our Youth Minister, “are you going, yes, don’t know, please go….”  No matter the excuse I used, every minute or so, the thought came back to me about the concert and I realized that I was not going to rest, at least peace of mind, anyway, so I got cleaned up and went to the concert.  I realized that I am hiding.  If I were lost, the decision to go the concert would have been an emphatic “NO.”  But while hiding, God can still get to your heart.  Remember, God knew that Adam and Eve were hiding in the garden.

What about those times when I am not lost or hiding?  That is when I am allowing God to work in my life.  He is the leader of my life, decisions, and I put all trust in Him.  The first day of school, I prayed to God, and it was clearly answered.  The first day of school was terrific, best ever.  I prayed, first thing in the morning, for God to glorify our first day of school and if we so deserve, to share His Grace with all involved.  On the way home, I thanked God for a great day, and answering my prayers.

Now that the long story is over, the last words of the song were, “I am here, where are you?”  It was then that I knew that no matter if I am lost or hiding, God will never give up on me.  He wants to know where I am.  If I am lost or hiding, God is sitting right there, waiting for me to acknowledge Him, wanting me to follow Him, wanting me to be by his side and experience eternal life with Him.  I was lost for at least five years, and you know what, He was there waiting for me to return.  I have hidden from Him countless times, and He is always there saying, “Here I am.”  No matter how many times I hide, God is always there to find me. 

So I ask… where are you?