I Wasn't Paying Attention...

I started this blog four weeks ago with the intention of posting once per week.  And, for some reason, today, I am staying late at work to get this done, when I could go home instead.  Many people ask me where I come up with the topics and the process is very simple, the Spirit moves me on Monday, I reflect on whatever the Spirit has laid on my heart, I write it on Tuesday, give it to my proofreader on Tuesday, get it back on Thursday and post.  The answer I usually give them is, “I let God guide me.”

Today, however, I could not be further from this process.  I am writing this blog now, not sending it to my proofreader, for she is gone for the day, and am going to post it with punctuation errors, grammar errors, and all.  I even thought to myself, look the Spirit did not move me on Monday, so I guess there is no reason to post this week.

Today’s Gospel was from the book Matthew 25:1-13.  Be ready, my feeble attempt to tell this story is coming up, and I suggest, as always, read if for yourself.  This story starts out with the ten virgins filling their lamps with oil and heading out to meet the bridegroom.  Well, he was late and the women fell asleep.  When they were awakened, the lamps were out.  Five of the women brought extra oil and were able to relight their lamps.  The five that did not bring extra oil, had to leave and get more.  And, as you could guess, while they were gone, the bridegroom came, took the five women with oil in there lamps to the kingdom.  The five women that missed the bridegroom were locked out of the kingdom.  When they went to knock on the door, the bridegroom turned them away and said, “I do not know you.”

As Fr. Tom shared his homily today at Mass, I felt that he was talking to me only.  That is never a good sign.  You see, many people do not understand why the five women with extra oil did not share.  But as Fr. Tom said, “This is not a story about sharing, but about being prepared, for you never know when the bridegroom (God) is coming.”  While he is right, it is very hard for us, in today’s society, to understand.  But Fr. Tom said it best, “When I come into the church and pray, I cannot do your prayers for you.  I cannot take that time with God and do it for you.”  Very profound, for I am sure if Fr. Tom could do that for us he would.  You cannot share your prayer life.  It is personal between you and God.

So I tell you that story so you can understand why I am completely stepping outside of my normal process for blogging.  I wonder how many times I fell asleep, this week, like the women in the story.  And by falling asleep I mean, not paying attention to God.  I am sure God was right there waiting for me to acknowledge Him, waiting to guide me through my day.  Instead, I was focusing on work, family, time management, and about a billion other things.  I might have thought to myself a time or two this week, “Gosh, I hope the Spirit moves me so I can have something to blog about.”  Unfortunately, I let that thought stay in my head for about a second and traded it for something that completely consumed my life, instead.  I wasn’t even paying attention.

I struggle, everyday, to pay attention, to focus and put God first.  It is a struggle I hope that I never get tired of doing.  For when my time comes, I hope I do not hear the words, “I don’t know you.”

Today I pray a prayer of apology.  “God, I am so sorry that I did not invite you into my life this week.  I am sorry I turned away from you in prayer.  Please help me in times of weakness and struggle so I can be a better follower of You.”

It's Just Not Fair

 

Just the other day, I was thinking about the program I attended that led me on the path back to my faith.  The program was called Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP).  This is a program for men, put on entirely by men, and usually happens on a Saturday night to Sunday Morning.  One of the guest speakers was talking about the saying in the Bible, “The first shall be last and the last shall be first.”  I do not know what made me think of this, but I must say, two days later, it was the gospel of the day, at Mass, so I have a really good idea how I came to think about it.  As you have figured out by now, I will try my best to give you the “long story short” version, but I highly encourage you to read the Gospel of Matthew 20:1-16.

In the story, a land owner makes a deal with some workers to work in the field for an honest day’s wage.  As the day goes on, the land owner hires more people, some before lunch, some after lunch and one group was hired the hour before the day was to end.  When it comes time for payment, the land owner pays each man the same amount, a fair day’s wages, regardless of the number of hours the man worked.  You can imagine what the men, who worked in the fields from the first hour to the last hour, thought of that idea.  In today’s world they would have said, it’s not fair.

Now I have a five year old son and a seven year old daughter and the phrase “That’s not fair,” is spoken quite often.  I must say, I loathe that phrase, for many reasons.  One reason is the whole idea of what is fair and what is not.  Could you imagine the job description of the person who has to determine what is fair and what is not?

Rick Riordan wrote, “Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same.  Fairness means everyone gets what they need.”  I find this statement very profound, because it brings out a truth that I believe is often misunderstood in today’s world.  As a child growing up, my parents did their best to make sure each child got the same number of gifts to open at Christmas, and spent the same amount of money on each child (as best they could, anyway).  But as we were opening gifts, my brother, sister and I never got the same exact thing.  I got a tennis racquet, my sister got a new leotard for gymnastics, and my brother got a baseball bat.  All three of us got what we needed (maybe even wanted), but none were the same. 

In the Bible story above, the landowner made a deal and gave the workers wages according to the deal they made.  While the first in the field felt they should have gotten more, they got the wages based on the deal they made.  In the world of sports, how often do we hear a superstar refusing to work, until they get a better deal, based on their performance of the previous year.  Yet, never, have you heard an owner refusing to pay the superstar when they are riding the bench because of injury, and not meeting their potential. 

My priest, Fr. Tom, told a story about a parishioner in one of his previous parishes.  This parishioner was upset that Fr. Tom spoke about the person on their death bed, finally discovers Jesus, three days or so before he dies.  Because the person expressed a faith and belief in Jesus Christ, the gates of heaven were open for them.  Now those of us who have attended Mass every Sunday of our life, could say that’s not fair.  But isn’t it good to know that God is right next to us waiting for us to make the statement of faith and welcome us into His heavenly kingdom, no matter if we have been practicing faith for many years or just a few short days. 

Now, I know what you are thinking, I will just wait until a couple of days, weeks, or years before I make that leap of faith.  There are two things wrong with a statement like this.  One, you never know when your day may come, so it is quite possible you might not have that chance.  And, two, you have no idea how wonderful your life, here on Earth, will be, EVERYDAY, when you follow God.

So, when it comes right down to it, life is not fair.  I will not always get what my neighbor gets.  I will not always need what my neighbor needs, either.  Fairness is getting what you need, and who knows more of what you need, than Jesus.

Are You Lost or Just Hiding...

 

Last weekend, our parish invited Julie Carrick to our church for a Sunday evening concert.  I must admit, I had never heard of her, but our priest let her sing a song or two at Mass on Saturday evening.  Julie has one of the most beautiful voices, and her message is very clear.  Julie’s songs are all based on the struggles of the Catholic Faith in today’s world.  Her message is beautiful, and I highly recommend, if you ever get the chance to listen to her, to do so.

One of her songs, not sure of the title, for I remember the lyrics, really hit home, and the more I think about it, it hit really close to home.  As I said, not sure of the title, but the lyric I heard was, “Are you lost or are you hiding?”  Wow!!  I began to ponder the difference between lost and hiding, in the context of this song, and I then began to relate it to my personal life.

I determined there are times in my life, when I have been lost.  During those times, I was so far away from the faith and God, that neither registered on my radar screen, or pyramid (Picture a pyramid.  God is supposed to be on top, but on my pyramid, He did not exist.)  If I did something wrong, there was a good possibility, I did not care, for the top of my pyramid was me.  The perfect example is when driving down the road, and somebody cuts me off, I would get angry because I had to change direction or hit my breaks.  I’m not gonna lie, probably threw out a profanity or two at the driver.  It was all about me.  I was so lost, that God was never in the picture.

I determined there are also times in my life that I am hiding.  Hiding, while similar to lost, is different in the fact that hiding might be a right now time, and lost is for an extended period of time.  If I am hiding, Jesus might be on my pyramid, just not at the top.  My lost time was probably about 5+ years.  My hiding could be minutes, hours, or days and it could happen at any time.  An example of hiding actually occurred in the decision of deciding to go see Mrs. Carrick concert.

I had a pretty long weekend.  On the Saturday before the concert, we had a huge function at school called family cleaning day.  We had over two hundred people helping get the school and grounds looking sharp for the beginning of school on Monday.  After that, I went home, changed clothes, went back to church for the evening Mass.  Then finally, we had a back to school pool party.  Again, a lot of people showed up for a great evening.

All of these events were great, time consuming, but great.  On Sunday, I played golf, went home and was ready to rest and relax for the entire evening.  The perfect thing to do before the opening of school.  It dawned on me that this concert was this evening, and I decided I was going to hide.  I made every excuse in the book to hide.  I reminded myself that I had worked all day Saturday, school started on Monday, I was tired and ready to relax. 

No matter the excuse, I could not get this concert out of my mind.  I texted back and forth with our Youth Minister, “are you going, yes, don’t know, please go….”  No matter the excuse I used, every minute or so, the thought came back to me about the concert and I realized that I was not going to rest, at least peace of mind, anyway, so I got cleaned up and went to the concert.  I realized that I am hiding.  If I were lost, the decision to go the concert would have been an emphatic “NO.”  But while hiding, God can still get to your heart.  Remember, God knew that Adam and Eve were hiding in the garden.

What about those times when I am not lost or hiding?  That is when I am allowing God to work in my life.  He is the leader of my life, decisions, and I put all trust in Him.  The first day of school, I prayed to God, and it was clearly answered.  The first day of school was terrific, best ever.  I prayed, first thing in the morning, for God to glorify our first day of school and if we so deserve, to share His Grace with all involved.  On the way home, I thanked God for a great day, and answering my prayers.

Now that the long story is over, the last words of the song were, “I am here, where are you?”  It was then that I knew that no matter if I am lost or hiding, God will never give up on me.  He wants to know where I am.  If I am lost or hiding, God is sitting right there, waiting for me to acknowledge Him, wanting me to follow Him, wanting me to be by his side and experience eternal life with Him.  I was lost for at least five years, and you know what, He was there waiting for me to return.  I have hidden from Him countless times, and He is always there saying, “Here I am.”  No matter how many times I hide, God is always there to find me. 

So I ask… where are you?

Persistence

Wednesday’s gospel was from the book Matthew 15:21-28.  There are many aspects to this story that fascinate me.  Adn yet again, I will humbly try to briefly explain this story, but strongly suggest you read it on your own.

Jesus and His disciples are leaving the region of Tyre and Sidon.  Out of nowhere is a Canaanite woman calling out for Jesus.  The disciples encourage Jesus to send her away. However, Jesus reminds the disciples, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”  The woman speaks with Jesus asking Him to remove the demons from her daughter.  When Jesus questions the woman, she is persistent in her request.

 The first aspect of this story that fascinates me is the fact that the disciples, the men closest to Jesus, were not acting in a very Christian way.  They encouraged Jesus to send her away.  It comforts me that even the men closest to Jesus did not always act in the way God wanted them to.  It just proves the point that we are all sinners and that being a Christian is ALWAYS going to be hard work.

Another point, that I find fascinating, is the faith of this Canaanite woman.  Here is a woman, who probably most of her life, was of no faith.  How did she know to go to Jesus?  Even after Jesus, questioned her, how did she know that Jesus would heal?  Sure, she probably heard the stories of Jesus through the grapevine, but how did she come to believe?

In my many years of Bible study, I have come to rely on the conviction of the Holy Spirit.  The best example I can give is this:  When you do something wrong, and you immediately feel bad doing whatever it is you have done, that is the conviction of the Holy Spirit.  So somewhere, not told in this story, God had to of placed the Holy Spirit on the Canaanite woman’s heart.

But what most fascinates me is the woman’s persistence.  She asks Jesus to help her and Jesus replies, “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.”  Once she hears this response, she does not give up.  “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their master.”

Being a leader, I feel it is my responsibility to have vision, and with vision comes decisions.  Some decisions I make are easy, yet others are difficult.  Whatever decision I make, easy or difficult, you can bet that there is somebody that does not like the decision I have made.  Sometimes, it is difficult for me to take the criticism.  Sometimes, after receiving the criticism, I want to back down, and I am not sure, a few years ago, I would have done just that.  Being persistent can be difficult, however, it can also reap the rewards of the Canaanite woman, for Jesus says, “Oh woman, great is your faith.”

Today I pray to God that whatever I do, I do to glorify Him.  I ask that He give His grace to all those who read this, that they have the persistence of the Canaanite woman, to continue to seek and grow toward Him.

Fragments

Recently at church, one of the readings was the story of Jesus feeding 5,000.  For my friends who do not know this story, I will give a brief overview of this story.  At this particular time, in the Bible, Jesus is being followed by huge crowds.  As evening approaches, the disciples encourage Jesus to send the huge crowd away, for they have no food to feed them.  There is a boy, among the crowd, that has some loaves of bread and a few fish.  Jesus takes the food from the boys, blesses it, and multiplies it to feed 5,000 men and their family, with 12 large, wicker baskets leftover.(Please understand that the Bible does this story much better justice than I just did.  I encourage you to read the gospel of John 6:1-15)

This is by far my favorite Bible story, EVER!!  For some reason, I could listen to any priest, preach about this story and I never get tired of it.  Every time I hear this story, I get a different point of view.  Many wonder about the miracle of taking five loaves of bread and two fish, and allowing them to feed so many.  Some often look at it from the boy’s point of view, giving of his food for the sake of others.  Others may even question the disciples and their faith in the power of God.

But not too long ago, I heard a sermon about this story from a very unique point of view, the leftover fragments.  Now I am sure you are questioning my sanity, but I must say, it was a great point of view.  I will try to do it justice in my words.

In today’s fast paced world, we are so busy moving from place to place, or trying to accomplish this thing or that thing, that I am not sure we often look at the details.  As I write this, I can tell you I am guilty on countless occasions of trying to get things done quickly, to get on to the next task at hand, as to accomplish the overwhelming list of things to do.  I often get side tracked by my smart phone and answering an email, which often leads to me missing some little fragment of information, either from my children, my wife, staff member, boss, my God, this list is truly endless.

In all the details of feeding 5,000 men and their families, Jesus never missed a detail.  He even made his disciples pick up the scraps and leftovers.  I am pretty sure Jesus was not living by one of my favorite mottos, if you rent or use a space, make sure it is cleaner than it was when you got it.  I can also bet Jesus was not worried about litter or being green, as we would in today's society, when he insisted on the disciples picking up every fragment.  I believe this was Jesus trying to convey to us that even the smallest morsel, or fragment, is important. 

Even though we live in this fast paced, GIGANTIC world, and we might often feel too small for Jesus to even notice.  It is nice to know that He cares for us, no matter how small or big we perceive ourselves.  We do not have to be a Nobel Prize winning author, or have been awarded the humanitarian of the year, for Jesus to care for us and recognize us.  We do not have to be the greatest evangelist to get the love of Jesus.  All we have to do is accept Him into our lives, follow Him, and He will give us the guidance we need, regardless of the fact that we might be a large slice of bread or even a crumb, He loves and cares for us all.