What is Holding You Back?

 

Monkeys, while cute and jovial animals, are not known for being very smart.  In my previous job, Fr. John Kamwendo, a name we are all familiar with, talked about his life in Tanzania while he was a visiting seminarian.  Fr. John, as a boy, worked on his father’s farm.  His job was to keep the monkeys away from the crops planted each year, usually peanuts.  Fr. John would tell me about all the ways they would trap or chase off the monkeys from their fields and there was one that I found interesting, the trap.

 

 

There is not a lot of thought put into trapping a monkey, for they are not considered the smartest animals in the forest.  A trap was simply a box or jar with a banana in it.  Imagine a jar with an opening 3-4 inches wide.  To set the trap, all they would do is slide a banana through the top and lay it in the bottom of the jar.  The monkey would then reach in the jar, grab the banana and try to get it out. 

 

Unfortunately, again not the smartest creatures, the monkey did not have the decision making skills to grab the banana on the end and slide it through the opening.  It would simply grab the banana in the middle and try to pull it out, to no success.  Instead of giving up on the banana, and walking away, the monkey is so stubborn, that it sits there, holding onto the banana, not giving it up for any reason, making it easy for the farmer, or other prey, to eradicate them from the farm.

 

I often think about this story during the Lenten season, especially later in Lent, as we are now.  We are almost to the end.  While many of us have done a great job with abstaining from whatever we have given up for Lent, now is about the time some of us start dreaming of consuming again, the one thing we have deprived ourselves.  It is so close to the end and we cannot wait to treat ourselves to that soda, piece of chocolate, potato chips, whatever. 

 

This leads me to these questions:  What are the things I hold onto, out of stubbornness, out of fear, etc., that I cannot overcome or has a strangle hold on my life?  What are the things that I grasp onto and will not give up, no matter what the consequences?  We all have the one idea, or vice that has a hold of us.  Some of us have a lot more than one.  Looking at these vices, are we acting like the monkey, and letting it take hold of our lives, refusing to give it up, or moving things around to make it better for all of those around us?

 

Take these last few days of the Lenten season and instead of counting the days until Easter, pray that God gives you the courage to remove the things that have a strangle hold on your life, and ask for the strength to live without them.

 

The true challenge

SPX parents,  

This week, as many of you know, students across the nation are planning a walk out of school for 17 minutes, to remember the victims of the recent school shooting.  As you all know, SPX will be walking over to church to have a prayer service for the end to all violence, on April 20^th, the anniversary of the Columbine shooting many years ago.  

I received the following letter from a parent regarding the student walk outs.  With all the political rhetoric that has risen to the top from this unfortunate tragedy, this letter might just be the first positive way to help prevent situations like this from happening in the future.  The letter challenges us as parents, to challenge our students to do something.  It challenges all of us to step outside of our comfort zone and do for others, as we would want done for us.  I hope you find this letter as powerful as I did.

 

 

An Open Letter From A Teacher To Students "Walking Out"...

"Dear Students,
I know you. I am a retired teacher of 24 years. I have taught you as 7th graders all the way through 12th grade. This is not a tweet or a text. It's called a letter; lengthy and substantial. Do you really want to make a difference? Are you sincere about making your schools safe? Don't walk out, read this instead. Walking out of school is easy compared to what this letter will challenge you to do.

First of all, put down your stupid phone. Look around you at your classmates. Do you see the kid over in the corner, alone? He could likely be our next shooter. He needs a friend. He needs you. Go and talk to him, befriend him. Chances are, he won't be easy to like, but it's mainly because no one has tried to like him. Ask him about him. Get to know him. He's just like you in that respect; he wants someone to recognize him as a fellow human being but few people have ever given him the chance. You can.

Next, see that kid eating lunch all alone? He could likely be our next shooter. Invite him to eat lunch with you. Introduce him into your fold of friends. You'll most likely catch a lot of flack from the friends you eat with because they don't want him upsetting the balance of their social order. After all, who you hang out with is critical to your status, is it not? If status is important to you, don't you think it's important to him also? The only difference being that he has no status because generally, shooters have no friends. Are you serious about wanting to make your school safe? Invite him to your lunch table and challenge your friends to do something meaningful with thirty minutes of their lives each day.

Lastly, are you completely frustrated by that kid who always disrupts your class and is consistently sent to the principal's office? He could likely be our next shooter. Do you know why he causes so much trouble? He initiates disruption because that's the only thing he does that gets him attention, and even bad attention is better than the no attention he receives from you and your classmates. You secretly wish he would get kicked out of school or sent to the alternative disciplinary school so that he wouldn't disrupt your classes anymore, that somehow, he would just disappear. Guess what? He already feels invisible in a school of thousands of classmates, you included. So, before he acts out in your next class, why don't you tell him you'd be willing to help him with the assignment that was just given? Or why don't you ask him to join your study group? If you really want to blow his mind, ask him for help on the assignment. He's never been asked that. Ever.

If you've read this far, you probably really do care about the safety of your school. Don't trust that walking out of school will bring an answer. Gun control or more laws is not, and will not, be the answer. You are the answer. Your greeting, your smile, your gentle human touch is the only thing that can change the world of a desperate classmate who may be contemplating something as horrendous as a school shooting. Look past yourself and look past your phone and look into the eyes of a student who no one else sees. Meet the gaze of a fellow human being desperate to make contact with anyone, even just one person. You. If you really feel the need to walk, walk toward that person. Your new friendship can relieve the heartache of one person and in doing so, possibly prevent the unjustifiable heartache of hundreds of lives in the future. I know you. I trust you. You are the answer.

And teachers, my fellow guardians of our youth, I know you too. I know the desire of wanting to make a difference in a young person's life. I know the thrill of stepping in front of a classroom of students but simultaneously intimidated by the trust bestowed upon you. I also know the crushing, sometimes unbearable responsibility that your shoulders are asked to carry. But that's why you got into teaching, because you have big shoulders. And a big heart. You're overworked (I would add underpaid, but you didn't get into teaching for the pay, so it needn't be said), underappreciated and exhausted. May I add one more item to that list? You're also a miracle waiting to happen in the life of your worst student. He could likely be our next shooter. The next time (and there's always a next time) he's ready to wreak havoc in your classroom, I challenge you to pull him aside and ask him if he's ok, if there is something bothering him and is there anything you can do to help? Your genuine concern for him may be just the miracle he's looking for. The miracle we're all looking for. I know you. I trust you. You are the answer.

 

A former teacher who is as heartbroken as you and trusting you not to walk out on the real answer,

David (yes, teachers really do have first names) Blair

The BIG Ten, Not the College Conference

This past weekend, in the first reading from Exodus, we got the list of the Ten Commandments, as some like to call them the BIG Ten.  The Ten Commandments were the ten basic rules given to us by God, basically telling us what we “shall not” do, with the exception of numbers four and five. 

 

In today’s world we tend to complicate rules.  Rules are put into place to protect/guide us as a society and help us create a civil life for everyone.  Rules help keep us safe, such as following street signs and traffic signals.  Rules are meant to guide us in our work places to help us complete the tasks at hand.  Rules, contrary to some popular belief, are often for the good. 

 

Throughout this Lenten season, I challenge you to look over the Ten Commandments, and use them as you follow the rules of your daily life.  For example:

 

Commandment One- I am the Lord thy God, thou shall not have any gods before me.

What are the things that you put in your life before God?  How often do you have a conversation with Him?  Spend some time, each day, praying, inviting Him into your day.

 

                Commandment Two- You shall not make for yourself and idol in the form of anything.

Many who take this literally, are quick to check this off the list.  For how often do you take the time to make a statue or idol, like they did in the Old Testament?  However, what are the things that you idolize and put before God?  Is it a chore, a calendar event, or any task that keeps you for focusing on God?  Take time to remove whatever it is that takes away from your focus on God.  If you haven’t given it up for Lent, it is not too late to try.

 

                Commandment Three- You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.

Again, for those that might be taking this one literally, you might not ever say the Lord’s name inappropriately.  Do you understand that what you think or what is in your heart, is known by God?  It is almost impossible to not think negative things, but when you do, take note of it and share with God a short prayer asking for His forgiveness and understanding, so that you can change your thinking and change your heart.

 

                Commandment Four- Remember to keep holy the Sabbath

It is so simple to attend the Saturday night vigil Mass or a Mass on Sunday morning.  Once you do that, it is pretty easy to say, “check.”  But keep in mind the last words said by the Deacon or Priest.  “Go forth proclaiming the Gospel of the Lord.”  When you leave Mass, are you relieved that you are done?  Do you maybe get a little frustrated or angry trying to get out of the parking lot?  Were you a little perturbed with the crying baby at Mass, and that is all you talk about?  If so, maybe you should stay and attend the next Mass.  When we leave Mass, we have just received the Good News.  Share it!!  Talk with your spouse or children about what you heard.  Get them involved in a conversation.  Take this time to evangelize, sharing the Good News.

 

                Commandment Five- Honor your father and mother

As a parent, this is my favorite commandment.  If I take this literal, then I am set and ready to go.  However, while I expect my children to honor their mother and me, am I honoring my parents with my actions?  In dealing with children, you might hear me say something like, “Would you say that those same words in front of your parents, or grandparents?”  If the answer is no, then it should never be said.  This goes for me as an adult as well.  Are my actions honoring my father and mother?  Keep that in mind next time we say or do something, and see if that does not possibly change your thoughts.

 

               

                Commandment Six- You shall not murder

Yet, we have another easy item to check off the list.  But, is there a person in your life that you have shunned, or wish to never speak to again, because they have hurt your or offended you?  Failure to forgive said person is the same as murder.  Take some time, between now and Easter, and seek out forgiving this person.  Going to a Penance Service and reconciling this with God, is a great first step to help with forgiveness. 

 

                Commandment Seven- You shall not commit adultery

“Check!”  Adultery is not just the physical act.  Remember, it includes what is in your thoughts and heart.  In our very busy world, take time to be with your spouse to grow in your relationship.  Set aside time to talk about what you have seen or heard in church.  Take time to focus on what it is that God wants your relationship to be by praying together.

 

                Commandment Eight- You shall not steal.

“Check!”  If you have never stolen anything from anyone or any place, you got this one, right?  Unfortunately, stealing is much bigger than items.  Taking poorly about others, trying to crush ones dignity through words is essentially stealing.  This Lent focus on helping others in unfortunate situations.  Be there for someone who needs help getting through a tough time, or help through an issue they do not understand.  Be there for someone who is struggling.  Spend time giving to them, instead of stealing from them.

 

                Commandment Nine- You shall not give false witness against your neighbor

                Commandment Ten- You shall not covet your neighbors, house, wife, or property

I combine these two commandments because they deal with your neighbor.  When we say neighbor we are really talking about everyone, not just the people that live next door.  Giving false witness or coveting the things of those in our life can be struggles many have.  Sometimes we want more, so we can have what our neighbor have.  This might take us away from our family time, as we work harder to get more.  Take some time this Lent to help thy neighbor.  Take some time to do unto others…  Take time to give thanks to God for all the blessings you have, and ask Him to give you the wisdom to share with others.

 

Take these Commandments and try your best not to complicate them.  Expand these Commandments into your daily prayers, thoughts, and activities.  Allow these words of God to guide you in the decisions you make.  Try not to add subsections or look at them as the rules.  Remember them when with those you interact with each day.  Allow them guide your heart and to protect you.