As posted before, I attended a program called Christ Renews His Parish(CRHP). This is a short weekend retreat for men, put on by men, that renews one's spirit and faith. It is because of this program, I am back in my faith, deeper than ever before.
Whenever one attends a retreat, like this, one often leaves feeling renewed and rejuvenated, and strong for the faith. However, it is commonly known, that after about a week or two, we are back to the habits of old. Well, me personally, I did not want to become that part of the statistic. I did not want to be the person that goes back to my old ways of life. I want this renewal feeling to last for ever.
To keep this feeling, I decided to become more active in my church. I was already part of the Men's club, but I needed to be involved more. I became part of the new CRHP formation team(the team that meets with the directors of each group to make sure every thing is going smoothly). I became a Eucharist Minister. I even decided, with the help of some of my CRHP brothers, that we would start a Bible Study. I am trying to think, but I believe we have been studying for going on 12 years. Twelve Years!!!!! I have to admit, up until now, I have never done anything for 12 years. Believe it or not, I have only been married for ten.
Over the 12 years, there have been men that have come and gone to this Bible Study. Some have come after their CRHP weekend, some have come because they were looking for more. Some have left Bible Study because they have moved out of state, and some have left for reasons not known to us. And this is what I believe to be typical of any group. Over time, change in their life brought the men to our group, and over time, change in their life led them away. But, today, I want to talk about someone special.
I never met Ted before his participation in Bible Study. As a matter of fact, I have changed parishes since attending CRHP, but still keep meeting for Bible Study, and one day, Ted was invited and showed up. Ted was this big guy, driving a big truck. He was always dressed like he just came out of the forest. It was easy to imagine Ted hunting the big game, having a deer drapped over his shoulders getting ready to clean it for the evening meal. Ted also liked boating and some day dreamed of building his own boat.
Ted was a wonderful father. His son has Downs Syndrome and Ted started a program called DADS, Dads Against Downs Syndrome. In this program, and on their website, dads would meet and discuss the trials, tribulations, joys, fears of having a child with Downs. Ted was the leader of this volunteer organization, that started in Indiana. As many good ideas do, this organization spread across the United States like wild fire and it is now an international organization. All because of Ted.
Ted came to our Bible study looking, searching, maybe feeling empty. I must say he was an inspiration to those of us that had been in this study for years. He rejuvinated us, challenged us and basically fit right in to the group.
Ted, although looking for God, decided to take his own life, last summer. He came to Bible Study on Monday, looking for God, and then decided to take his life on Tuesday. This drastic measure was unbeknownst to any of us Bible Study brothers. We never saw the signs of fear or end. He was just gone.
I tell you about Ted, because two years ago, he brought to our group the Bible Study titled, Experiencing God. We started this study in the fall of 2010 and ended it last night. This was, by far, one of the best studies our group has ever done. This study took us about a year longer than it should have because the discussions were deep and interesting, that we always ran out of time. And it was all because Ted had the courage to share with us his needs and desires when it comes to faith.
Ted was a wonderful man, and I wish I had known him for a lifetime, not just a few short years. I am sad that I never got a chance to tell Ted how much he meant to me and our group. I am sad that I never got the opportunity to tell Ted how much he inspired me to be a better dad, even though my children do not have Downs Syndrome. I am sad that I do not get to see my rugged dressed friend walking into the house, like he just got out of the woods. I am sad and afraid that now that the Bible Study that he brought to us is over, that I might soon forget him. He might fade away from my thoughts just like some do at the end of the renewal weekend.
I am sad today, because the Bible Study that Ted has brought us is over. I miss my friend, and I thank him for leading me further down the path to God's Kingdom. Without God placing Ted in my life, I am not sure where I would be on my faith journey, but I am absolutely sure that I am further because of him.
Eternal rest grant upon him oh Lord...
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